Woot! Hate Mail!

ELSE ****

That Daddy Blogger that I linked to last week and his people are still not over it (*eyeroll*) so now I got this trolling email. Which is fine but it’s such obvious trolls it takes all the fun out of it. I just wish I could get some GOOD hate mail. It’s been slow around here lately and it makes me sad.

The email itself is clearly an obvious troll, but even before I got to that, I knew it was a troll. This rocket scientist set up his email headers to say his name is “Pete Jergen” but when writing emails, he forgets all about this, so instead he signs his email as “Chris M.” Okay Pete AKA Chris. And I LOVE the M at the end – you know, he has to distinguish himself from all the other Chris’s writing to me in that email, right? I mean, if you don’t want to use your last name, don’t. But what does the “M.” prove? It’s not like this is Facebook where you are required to put in a last name or at least a last initial!

I debated on if I should post it here. On one hand, maybe it’ll discourage hate mail. On the other hand, the stuff in this email so basic, I could answer it in my sleep. I’m kind of sick of answering these whiny points, so maybe it will discourage people from sending me these whiny points again.

My name is Chris and I hope you are well. I am writting to you today to just get a little more input on this subject which I am sorry to say was unaware even existed. I was visiting my family this weekend and in speaking with my sister, introduced me to a website which made a joking article about having Children For Sale. It was just a harmless shot made by a father or ‘Duhdee” about his children working his nerves and went on to joke about it. Afterwards a whole community of angry Childless idiots began to spew a rancid assault on the father, duhdee or breeder.

All I wrote was a “harmless shot” about how Daddy Blogger was highlighting all the reasons not to have kids. Do you actually think that’s “spewing a rancid assault”? You need to get out more.

Side Note: I don’t even use the word “Duhdee” and it’s not on my Lingo List, so obviously this is someone who has been around this whole debate a lot longer than 24 hours to be so familiar with all the childfree lingo and sayings. Who even uses “Duhdee” anymore? Also, intentionally using the term “childless” is another clue — he must have known we don’t like that term and used it to stir the pot. *yawn*

Again, I never even knew such a community even existed. I guess the frightening thing about it is the actual hatred in their tones and sincere lack of basic human compassion towards another person.

Wait a minute… Didn’t you just call us “childless idiots”? And doesn’t that show “sincere lack of basic human compassion towards another person”? Or are you saying it’s okay to do that if you don’t like what the person is saying and in that case, wouldn’t it be appropriate for us to do the same?

More importantly, if whatever you’re griping about it something someone else said to your friend the Daddy Blogger, you’ll have to get with them to discuss the hatred in their tones. I can guarantee you I didn’t comment on his site.

I asked my readers not to go over there and stir the pot. If they did, that’s their problem, not mine. I’ll admit, I probably should have used better judgment and not linked to his site, knowing some people here would not behave, but I was being optimistic. Still, it’s my understanding that he linked back here and tried to sic his readers on me, too, so… I guess we’ll call it even this time.

Regardless, without actual examples of what was said, I can’t comment on any of this “hatred”, and I have to assume you are just over-reacting. It was my understanding that Daddy Blogger was flinging a fair number of insults and put-downs at childfree people, too (after all, this IS the guy who flew off the handle because we LINKED to him – and neither I nor the other blogger said anything nasty about him), so I’m shocked (not really) you are so blind you think this whole “flame war” (if it even is a flame war) is so completely one sided!

After scouring your website I can see the same undertones. Your slang, goals and rants are truly amazing to me.

Pete/Chris obviously didn’t read this site, especially since he’s outraged at my… goals? What in my list of goals was so horrible? Did I say kill all the children? Forced sterilizations? Making parents pay thousands in extra taxes every year to make up for their sin of reproducing? No. My goals are made up of: Reproductive Freedom, Workplace Equality, Discrimination Protection, Social Acceptance and Societal Obligations. HOW DARE I SUGGEST SUCH HORRIBLE THINGS!

And complaining about my rants? Let’s see, most recently I laughed that the Daddy Blogger’s list of “funny” things about having kid was actually kind of scary. OMG, CALL THE NATIONAL GUARD. THAT KIND OF HATRED IS UNACCEPTABLE! I mocked that mommies are buying “The Shandle” (something my friend Sarah dubbed the “Shit Handle” – good one Sarah!), and I laughed at a couple of insecure mommies who made fools of themselves online. Wow, awful stuff!! And don’t forget to check out this collection of “proof” of how I’m such a horrible child hater!

I cannot differentiate the difference between calling someone a breeder or a moo versus a racial or religious slur.

God, white breeders the absolute worst!! They honestly have NO idea what racism is about, and they diminish it every chance they get. Do they really see Michael Jackson on TV and think, “You know, skin color is a choice! All those black people who are still black? That’s just because they want to be!”

Here’s the difference:

** I can’t change my skin color – tanning aside (which is stupid) or millions of dollars, strange experimental treatments and severe psychosis like MJ had, I’m stuck with it. I didn’t get a choice in my skin color.

** I can choose if I want children or not. If I choose to have them, I really don’t have much right to complain about all the lack of sleep and sex that comes along with them. That’s a given that everyone knows about ahead of time! Meanwhile, I could always give the kids up if I didn’t like them anymore. Children are a choice unlike things like skin color and ethnicity.

** When people complain about “breeders” we’ve always made it clear we’re talking about their BEHAVIOR, not even the very fact that they have kids. You can CHOOSE your behavior and you can CHOOSE your actions. If you’re going to be a shitty parent, you better get used to people bitching about it because more and more people are getting sick of your lazy, crap-ass parenting.

** Someone refusing to hire someone because he’s black and keeping him from making a living, or savagely beating him up because he’s a different race is NOT the same thing as someone on the internet saying, “Damn, that women is a breeder! That poor kid, stuck with such a shitty parent!” Got it?

Now STFU about the whole “you childfree people are just like racists when you criticize my shitty parenting skills!” It just makes you all look like the fucking morons that you are. And proves you make shitty parents with such poor reasoning skills. If that’s the kind of things you teach your kids, you know they are going to grow up to be morons too!

I am in no way shape or form judging you but I am very curious as to where the passion for such a harmless topic is coming from. Up until 24 hours ago, I did not even know there was acutally people out there that cared to even think about this topic much less actively pour hate towards other people over it.

What passion? I said your friend the DaddyBlogger’s list was scary because it’s true. That was the end of it. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill, dude!

I was hoping you could help me understand the ideaology behind your beliefs on this.

Read my website. For real this time – don’t just pretend like you read it and make up what you THINK it says.

Personally, I have led a modestly privledged life and of EVERY single great thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life absolutely nothing has ever compared to the birth of my son who is now 15 months. Without question, it has been the best 24 months of my life (from pregnancy to present). Please let me know your thoughts. Again, I would never judge you or think ill of you as you clearly do towards others. Again, I hope all is well and look forward to hearing from you.

I LOVE how people with kids who can’t stand that we don’t have the same burden always have to throw in our faces, “Nothing in my life meant anything until I had a son!” (And it’s usually the son they are most proud of, as if girls are really only the runner-up-prize for folks like this.) What they are really saying is, “Nothing you’re doing with your life has any importance or purpose. Sure, you might think, right now, that whatever you’ve done was impressive and you’re proud of it, but I felt the exact same way until I had a child. And you’ll never realize how empty your lives are until you have a kid, and if you don’t, well, your life will always be empty and meaningless even if you don’t see it that way. Poor you.” Basically, they say that statement as a put down. And what did I say about put downs recently? They are so afraid that we think they are missing out they quickly have to insist they are NOT missing out and, in fact, WE are the ones missing out. Insecurity anyone?

So, Pete/Chris, thanks for playing, but try harder next time. Here’s some tips:

** Pick one name and stick with it. Looks less troll-y.

** If you are responding to a flame war, don’t pretend like it was totally one-sided. They never are.

** If you are responding to a flame war, respond to someone who was actually doing some flaming.

** If you are going to complain about the “undertones” of my site, please have actually read it first, and don’t complain about the benign stuff like the goals. Use specific examples, too. This way I don’t have to guess about the one line you took out of context to formulate your argument.

** Drop the racism argument. It makes you look stupid.

** Don’t whine about religion here because you’ll get no sympathy from me, since I believe religion = the biggest hate group there is. Religion is ALL about separating people, highlighting their differences and keeping them apart, not uniting them (Especially Christianity – how many freakin’ denominations does one religion need? The fuckers can’t even stand each other!!!).

Thank you, try again.

Get therapy not kids!

ELSE ****

Seen this week on Post Secret:

The real reason I do want to have kids is that if I do get divorced or my future husband dies, I won’t be lonely and I can meet new people through them.

Really? You’re creating human beings because you have a fear of being alone and a fear of not being able to meet new people without a child in tow? Oh, that’s a GRAND reason to create a person. Why not get some therapy to get over your insecurity issues instead of having children to be your crutch? If you don’t have a better reason to have kids than that, DON’T.

I might not like Dr. Phil much, but he’s right about one thing: Children should not be born with a job!!

It just horrifies me that all too often, the people having kids are the ones who are so messed up in the head that they shouldn’t be having kids.

To Drink or Not to Drink

ELSE ****

One of my biggest pet peeves is myth that “pregnant women shalt not drink a drop of alcohol lest the child surely turn out retardeth”. Well, you know, looking around at the general population, if that’s true, I’d guess 90% of mothers must be drinking during pregnancy because I’m surrounded by idiots! Maybe that’s what this whole autism epidemic is about – not vaccines, but drunken mothers! Yea, let’s spread that rumor around. The other one caught on, maybe this one, will too!!

Do you honestly think a glass of wine will retard the fetus? I totally understand that one shouldn’t drink to excess for their own sake as well as of their child, but drinking in moderation isn’t that bad. This whole temperance movement has got to go. They are spreading lies and misinformation just as much as the anti-choice* movement. Neither group cares about fetuses or babies! I sometimes even wonder if they put out these lies just to see how many women they can find who are dumb enough to fall for them!

Pretty much everyone in the United States has jumped on this bullshit bandwagon. It’s difficult to find a news publication or doctor in this country that will tell you the truth, lest they be condemned by the anti-drinking police. Do you realize that women are more demonized for drinking during pregnancy than smoking? True, people don’t generally find smoking during pregnancy to be acceptable, but few believe that the risk for low birth weight or future asthma problems is nearly as horrific as Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. The FAS propaganda machine has been far more successful. In fact, many people want you to believe that smokers are helpless, unjustly persecuted victims who can’t give up their peer-pressure induced addiction, but a pregnant woman who imbibes even the slightest amount is just plain evil.

The folks at babycenter claim that any amount of alcohol during pregnancy is “too much”. In fact, they go so far as to claim that women who are even thinking about getting pregnant shouldn’t drink, because apparently that, too, will retard the not-yet-conceived fetus. Gee, that’s a neat trick since alcohol doesn’t stay in your system that long.

I did find someone on the internet willing to tell the truth: that a glass or two of wine isn’t going to hurt anything and might even have some health benefits. But first I had to wade through umpteen articles about how anyone who drinks will miscarry and if that doesn’t happen, for sure the baby will either be born dead or he’ll be an alcoholic ‘tard. FOR SURE! (Note to childfree people, apparently we don’t need abortion! If you find yourself accidentally pregnant, drink lots of coffee and alcohol! Automatic miscarriage**! YAY!)

Yea, that’s interesting, since excerpts from this article say the complete opposite (emphasis mine):

the American government, medical authorities and media have not been telling American women the entire truth. Although the official message is “don’t drink at all during pregnancy”, a great deal of recent research and a re-examination of the alcohol-pregnancy issue show that there is no conclusive evidence to demonstrate that moderate drinking during pregnancy can harm the fetus.

…According to Doctors David Whitten and Martin Lipp of the University of California at San Francisco, “the campaign against drinking during pregnancy started in 1973 when several studies showed that heavy drinking during pregnancy can cause the condition known as the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. These studies demonstrated that the children of many alcoholic mothers were born with a cluster of severe birth defects. “What the government conveniently chose to ignore” say Whitten and Lipp, is that this syndrome is extremely rare, occurring only 3 times in 100,000 births, and then only when the mother drinks abusively throughout her pregnancy.”

Later in the article, they even suggested that moderate alcohol consumption might actually be (gasp) beneficial!

I’m going to go with these guys. I have an alcoholic relative who managed to have a handful of kids that were born healthy despite her single-handedly keeping Anheuser-Busch in business, and while her kids are somewhat fucked up personally, that’s because they were raised in a morality-free zone by an alcoholic. Who wouldn’t turn out with issues in that situation? But they didn’t have serious physical problems or retardation due to her drinking, despite everyone in the family being completely sure they would. We used to WISH alcohol caused miscarriage because we felt sorry for anyone born to her, and yet, it didn’t work. While this drunken relative was just plain lucky her kids weren’t fucked up, it’s very interesting that women are told not to even have a sip of champagne because that will seriously harm their fetus. Yet this drunken relative had a lot more than a sip and she didn’t even run into such problems.

My goal here isn’t to tell all preggos to start drinking. If a woman doesn’t want to drink – for whatever reason – that’s her business! I just don’t want her blindly believing the lies being spread by the lying liars who lie to control women.

I absolutely hate how in movies and TV shows, everyone finds out that Betty Bimbo is pregnant because she puts her hand over her wine glass to stop someone for pouring her a drink. Everyone goes, “(gasp!) Betty, you’re not drinking? Oh my god, does this mean what I think it means?” and Betty sheepishly grins and giggles and THE SECRET IS OUT, cue gushing of all the women and congratulations all around. Oh, groan! That scene always drives me crazy. It’s so cliché and stupid. If she wanted to tell people she was pregnant, why not just tell them? Who writes this crap?

Meanwhile, millions of women who most definitely aren’tpregnant are looked at suspiciously if they pass up a drink. There are many reasons why someone might not want a drink. They might be a recovering alcoholic. They might be related to alcoholics and don’t even want to risk turning into one. They could be on some medication that isn’t supposed to be mixed with alcohol. They could be the designated driver. They might not like what is being served, or maybe they just don’t like alcohol. They could be some teetotalling right-winger who thinks alcohol is evil. Who knows? But I really hate that if a woman isn’t drinking, society has been conditioned (largely by Hollywood) to automatically jump to the (often incorrect) conclusion she’s pregnant! No, actually, I hate that society is obsessed with analyzing women’s alcohol consumption at all.

Women should not have to defend her choice to drink or not to drink! Society needs to stop constantly trying to control women’s behavior!

Of course, we all know that alcohol and coffee aren’t the only things that will supposedly kill the fetus. As the article continues, it explains how pretty much anything women might enjoy is allegedly a danger to her unborn child:

In her recently published book “The Myths of Motherhood”, Shary Turner indicates that alcohol is far from the only risk factor pregnant women are warned against. Other items on the list include caffeine, chocolate, raw oysters, unpasteurized cheese, tropical fruits, drugs that alleviate cold symptoms, nail polish, suntan lotion and hair dye, all of which in some amount may harm the fetus. Turner’s conclusion is that “the only risk free pregnancy is one that is meant less to benefit the baby than to imprison the mother in anxiety and self-reproach.

Tropical fruits? Notice McDonald’s isn’t off-limits, but healthy things like fruit are forbidden? Honestly, shouldn’t there be more concerned about these severely-overweight pregnant women than we are about fruit and a glass of wine? How can obesity be healthy for the fetus?!

But never mind that. Isn’t the bolded statement above exactly what the whole right-wing, anti-choice, temperance movement wants? To control and imprison women, make them full of self-doubt and anxieties, and most importantly, stuck at the home, with children, unemployed, breastfeeding, and unable to cause a stink? As they say, “Well behaved women rarely make history!” All these people really want is for women to have no choices, no fun, be completely subservient and dependent on men! The scary part is that so many women are falling for it and turning on other women.

*speaking of the anti-choice movement, they have started a facebook group called ” I’m Pro-Life, and no, that does NOT mean anti-choice, that means anti-DEATH” Well, let’s see, here. Telling women we have no option but to give birth to an unwanted child is the very definition of no choice. Apparently the anti-choice group is full of such idiots they don’t even know what the word “choice” means!!

**This is not valid medical advice, so don’t take it! Despite the fact that these idiots insist any woman who drinks coffee or alcohol will likely miscarry, it’s unlikely to work.

All Natural Bullshit

ELSE ****

I cringe every time I hear some bimbo mommy justifying her stupidity and crap parenting by suggesting that it’s “all natural.” I’m not just talking about breastfeeding “natural” argument, but about a whole slew of other stupid behaviors I’ve heard mommies justify lately with this “natural” bullshit.

 

  • Co-sleeping – well that’s how the animal kingdom does it!
  • Attachment parenting — holding their baby 24/7 because it’s “natural” and it’s what (some) animals do.
  • Not using birth control — because the animal kingdom doesn’t use birth control and clearly the animal kingdom isn’t overpopulated (apparently they haven’t talked to the overflowing animal shelters recently).
  • Refusing to go back to work after the kids are born – because the animal kingdom doesn’t go off to work and leave the kids – seriously, I heard this excuse lately.
  • Letting their kids run wild – it’s natural to let them be high spirited. The animals don’t tell their kids to sit calmly and quietly all the time!

 

There was at least one other I was thinking about earlier, but damn if I can’t remember it. I’m sure one of you can help me out.

All right, I’ll play. I love this game! Listen up, folks!

If you want to be ALL NATURAL, here are some more tips on how to be like the animal kingdom:

 

  • Stop wearing clothes. It’s not natural. Animals don’t do it.
  • Have sex and masturbate in public. It’s the natural, animal kingdom way.
  • No more need for indoor plumbing. Animals shit anywhere and everywhere and you should, too, or you’re not being natural. And lick yourself clean or go swim in a lake rather than waste water on baths or showers. That’s the natural way of things!
  • No more fast food or shopping in grocery stores! Catch your own food and eat it raw. That’s the natural way. I’m pretty sure gardening is out – animals don’t do that.
  • Electricity is out, and that includes the DVD player you set your kids in front of all day, and your computer you play facebook games on – it’s not natural – you won’t see animals in the wild using computers!!
  • Get rid of your cell phone and find other ways to ignore your kids. Animals don’t use them.
  • Get rid of your car. It’s not natural and animals don’t use them. Start getting some fucking exercise!
  • Hell, get rid of your house. Do you see wild animals living in houses? Nope. Houses are not natural. Go live in a cave or burrow underground like the animals do.
  • Go ahead and kill anyone you want and then eat them. This is how it works in the animal kingdom. There are no laws and no prisons, so you can get away with it! It’s the natural order of things!
  • No more modern medicine or fertility treatments. It’s not natural! It’s not the way animals do things!
  • Some animals eat their young. GO FOR IT.
  • Animals don’t feel sorry for themselves, so no more whining, ever. About anything. It’s not natural.

 

I could go on, but I’m sure you can run with it yourselves.

Honestly, these bimbos don’t seem to realize that as humans, we’re SUPPOSED to be more highly evolved than animals. We’re not supposed to try to emulate animals. The thing is, they don’t want to live like animals – they want all their modern conveniences while using the “animal kingdom” and “all natural” excuses at random to justify whatever they do or don’t feel like doing. You know, like hard, parenting stuff.

I don’t really give a shit if some woman wants to hold her kid 24/7 and have him hanging off her tit the whole time. I think it’s incredibly misogynistic, and I pity her for not realizing that she’s being enslaved by a patriarchal society and culture that is so threatened by women they are brainwashing them to believe they are nothing but receptacles to produce offspring (particularly male offspring) and be chained to that offspring and be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen so they doesn’t get any “uppity ideas” and threaten the men’s freedoms. Yet if she wants to do it, FINE. But a) stop being so desperately insecure that you need to try and justify your crap behavior to anyone and b) find some better way to justify it than “oh, we need to behave more like animals” because that’s pure and utter bullshit!

If you like being a pawn of patriarchy and you don’t want to have to do anything with your life, fine, just say that. If you are just too lazy to discipline your children, why not admit it? No one respects you anyway, so no need to waste time saving face! Just be your silly, insipid little self who can’t handle anything more intellectually challenging than changing a diaper occasionally and shut the fuck up.