How about this: Don’t Bother

Another one from Australia:

How to stay friends with parents

I won’t quote the whole article, but I’ll show you a chunk of it. Take a gander:

Here’s my five rules for dealing with friends who are parents.

Rule 1: 5pm to 7:30pm is never a good time to call. And if you want to drop around be prepared to be ignored for at least some of that time. During these hourse I need to get two children fed, bathed, dressed in their pyjamas, read them a story and get them to sleep. It’s not easy and it’s no time for chatting. Parents call this time the “witching hours” when even the best behaved children can turn into attention seeking monsters who cry at the drop of a hat because they are tired and hungry.

Rule 2: If you are organising a party please don’t be dissapointed if only one parent turns up, particularly if the event is at night time. Babysitting is expensive, can’t be organised at the last minute and sometimes it’s just too hard.

Rule 3: Fancy restaurants and children never mix. I’ve lost count of the times our family has been invited out with the line: “We’d love to see the kids” but the venue chosen is entirely inappropriate. We did try it once. It was a disaster. We took turns taking CJ for walks outside and cruising the hallway. Never again. If you want to see the kids and have them behave, then it’s always better to discuss the venue with parents to ensure it’s age appropriate. Otherwise you may end up back in Rule 2 – only one of us can come.

Rule 4: 9:30 to 10pm is my bedtime. Don’t phone me after that, I won’t answer. If you have invited me out for drinks and I’ve made the effort to come, I will probably stay later than 9:30 but I get really tired and I’m not really up for 2am dancing because I have to be up with the kids at 6am. I will pike out early. Don’t call me names, just be grateful that I managed to come at all.

Rule 5: If I don’t call you back don’t take offence. It’s most likely because you broke rule 1 or rule 4, not because I don’t like you. Parents forget things a lot. Just call me and remind me that you called.

That’s all fine and dandy, but if you’re going to be so uptight and demanding, why not simplify this for everyone and make just one rule:

Rule 1: Don’t bother dealing with friends who are parents.

Problem solved.