Mommies Buy Useless Crap

This is probably the dumbest thing I’ve heard of in a while and yet mommies are ga-ga over it. It’s The Shandle. No wonder people with kids are broke – they’ll buy anythingthat other mommies tell them is the “in” thing to buy, no matter how useless. (Admittedly this is a cheap piece of shit at $7 each, but I’d bet they’d still buy it if it was $100 a pop, as long as they thought it would make them look like “good” mommies.)

What is the Shandle, you ask? It’s some useless piece of plastic you stick to the toilet seat to help kids lift and lower the toilet seat without touching the “icky” toilet. As a bonus, it reminds them to wash their hands and gives them a cartoon to look at while urinating. That’s all it does.

So let me get this straight: these gals think their kids will die from germs if they touch the toilet? These people are unable to teach their kids to wash their hands so they need a piece of plastic to do it for them? (Well, maybe the piece of plastic can babysit the kids while mommy goes bar hopping, too!) And if the whole point is to teach the kids to wash their hands after using the toilet, does it really matter if they touch the “icky” toilet seat or not since they’ll be washing their hands right afterward? Couldn’t a home-made sign on the door or above the toilet remind the kids just as easily (and more cheaply)?

I really do not understand these germaphobes. I swear, a germ or two will not kill you! I’m not saying everyone should be licking toilet seats or anything like that, but humans have survived thus far without needing cutesy handles to survive to the next generation! I guarantee you there are kids out there who have touched a toilet seat, then put their hands in their mouths and lived to tell about it! I swear!

The feel-good crap like this is so ridiculous.

Think about this for a minute: Kids (and even some adults) miss and piss on the toilet seats. What’s to say they won’t miss and the piss gets on the Shandle, too?

“But, but, but… the Shandle is made of some antimircobial stuff! It repels germs!” is the mommy rallying cry. Well, here’s an idea. if this antimicrobial stuff is so awesome and lifesaving, why not just get a toilet seat made out of it? That might actually make some sense. But mommies won’t recommend antimicrobial toilet seats to each other because those toilet seats don’t come with cartoon characters printed on them!! DUH!

As for product reviews, one mommy says, “The Shandle is a neat little product! It’s so simple that it makes you wish you had thought of it yourself!” Seriously? It’s a piece of junk! The only reason someone might wish they’d thought of it was for the money they’d make off of dumb women who will buy anything if it’s marketed for kids!

My favorite design is this one:

If you have an overweight daughter or wife, this is the perfect gift! You can make sure she washes her hands and remind her of her weight issues every time she goes to the bathroom. BRILLIANT!!

Even more amusing is that they make some “decorative” ones for adults without the cutesy, “don’t forget to wash your hands after you pee!” sayings on them for all the adult germaphobes who think they need to avoid touching toilet seats, too.

Hey, but more power to the mommy who invented this to make money off the backs of all her peers. I’m sure she’s laughing all the way to the bank over all the suckers out there. Bravo! Job well done!